Here are some lines and dialogues of the comedy series...
- Charles, you gotta stop. (Charles squawking) - I don't, gobble, understand people. - But Charles.- Gobble. - Dude.- Gobble. - Gobble gobble your tail feather is caught in the gobble door. - Thank you gobble. Wait, what? - Ow. - Oh. - Gobble. - Gobble. (upbeat music) - Will you sort your washing out ASAP? I've got a white wash ready but it's gotta go on tonight 'cause your dad's run out of pants. You've had to go commando today, isn't that right, Nick? - What? - You've got no drawers on. - Mom. - Yeah, she's right. I'm flapping around like an elephant's trunk down there. - Dad.
Elephant's trunk, I should be so lucky. ♪ Ha da da da da da da da da ♪ - [Happy] Hey, mister, can you see me? - Yeah. - Oh, you can see me! - Kill this thing any way you can. - Ah! ♪ I'm Happy! ♪ Here comes the fun. - Stop! You're not real. - Of course not, I'm an imaginary friend. - Now you're in the friend zone. (audience laughs) - No, no, no, I'm not in the zone. - No, Ross, you're mayor of the zone. - Guys, there's somebody I'd like you to meet. - [All] Aw! - Wait, wait, what is that? - That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? - No, no, I don't. - Well, don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. (audience laughs) You used my toothbrush! - Well, that was only'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain. (audience laughs) - Mine is the red one! (audience laughs) - Had a good day, Del? (audience laughs) - Had a good day, good day? One of the best, grandad,the very bloody best. I've been chased by a gendarme. Attacked by a pussy cat with him, and almost caught rabies. And it's all this dipstick's fault! - Oh, he can oft exaggerate. - Exaggerate? You should have beenwith me in there, eh Rod, It was like "Call of the Wild". Why didn't you warn me thatthat copper was coming? - Because I didn't see him.
- You didn't see him? What do you want me to get you? Radar or something? (audience laughs) - I've noticed you're pretending to masturbate. And I was wondering if youwanted to talk about it? - Aw, I wish my mom was a sex guru. - So, why don't you start by telling me your earliest memory of your scrotum. - Trust me, you don't. - I'm worried about you, man. Everybody's eitherthinking about shagging, about to shag, or actually shagging. This is a new frontier, mysexually-repressed friend. Our chance to finally moveup the social food chain. - That's great, you guys have to go. - Why? - It's just not a good time. - Leonard has a lady over.
- I gather. Is a lady here? - Uh huh. - And you want us to becauseyou're anticipating coitus? (audience laughs) - I'm not anticipating coitus. - She's available for coitus? - Can we please just stop saying coitus. - Technically that wouldbe coitus interuptus. (audience laughs) - Hey, is there a trick for getting it to switch from tub to shower? Oh, hi, sorry. Hello. (audience laughs) - Enchante, mademoiselle. (audience laughs) - But aren't most of our activities kind of geared towards couples? - Name one couple's activity that wouldn't be more fun with your boss there? Mmm, I love the way themud revitalizes your skin. - And I love how it masks my shame. - I am loving this. - Fun fact, the average American marriage lasts fewer than two days. - That's not true. - It doesn't have to be, it's commentary. - We have to get 'em back together. - Pass. - Well, I'm doin' it withor without your help. - Okay, without.- Okay, you called my bluff. It has to be with your help. And I'm not taking no for an answer. - No.- Okay, you did it again. Why are you like this? - I don't know. (audience laughs) - What's so funny? - Carlton told a joke. - No, no, no, Hilary, Carlton is a joke. (audience laughs) - Hi, kids! - Uh oh, needy father alert. - Hey, hey, hold it, hold it. Now what is that supposed to mean? - Come on, Dad. Every time Mom goes away, you start wanting to do things with us. It's not fair. - So, what are you kids saying? - What we're saying is, here's $10, go to the movies. Run! -
Hey, hey, hey, come on! Now you, Mister Smarty! - Oh, hi, Will, you wanna go to a movie? - Sure would, Uncle Phil. Thanks a lot, appreciate that. (audience laughs) - If you're watching this,then I'm not around anymore. But don't spiral, don'tobsess, keep going. You know how grumpy you getwhen things don't go your way. You've got such a good heart. You're born like it, you're just decent. - This is Sandy. If you could show her the ropes, tell her what's what. - Humanity's a plague. We're a disgusting, selfish, parasite. And the world would be abetter place without us. That the sort of thing you meant? - No. - Look, Jerry, get out of the booth, take all of your clothes off, and fold yourself 12 times. -
You got it. - Six folds, huh? What do you guys got me in, a Series 9000? You cheap insect (bleep) didn't think I was worth your best equipment? - Huh, man, I told the money bugs, I said, you know who this guy is, right? You want me to get intel out of the smartest mammal in the galaxy, then you better give mea decent Brainalizer. - Well, you might aswell order some pancakes because I don't see the need to leave this part of my brain. - [Narrator] Ah, there you are again. Before we begin, a refresher. - Are you ready for your insemination? - Hi, yes. - I artificiallyinseminated the wrong woman. - Mom.- Shh. - Mom, I need my wedges. You told me I could borrow. - Hang on, honey, one minute. - This is a great moment. Let's tell her that I'mher father right now. - It's hard dating someonethat doesn't put out. - Woo. - When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. I think we might be in an alien zoo or on a prank show. (Michael giggles) - No, Jianyu, we're dead. - Whoa, that's a dope prank. Gotta give it up. - Blah. (coins splashing) (phone rings) Your key's ringing. - I have a question for you. Are you out of your damn minds? - You know, I can't evenwatch Game of Thrones now without thinking of my mother saying, Stewart, which one is Thrones? (audience laughs) - Shimmy! Shimmy! - Let me get you some condoms. - [Otis] No thanks, mom. - Your new shirt is veryaggressive and confusing. Is the pineapple the slut? Or is it calling someone else a slut? - Clearly, the pineapple is the slut. - [Jake] Oh. - Did I have a purse? No, I'm dead, right. Okay. (glass breaks) - Is he gonna be okay? No, he is not going to be okay.
0 Comments